In a recent article, How to reduce the divorce rate, the author received several approaches which include pre and post marriage strategies. The author believe that successful marriage preparation begins at an early age with continued education at every level. Children are taught the importance of family and family responsibilities. The education regarding marriage continues until the college age and includes a process for arranged marriages which ultimately are designed to reduce the divorce rate. This process for marriage preparation is used by Muslims which is very different from people who are part of the Kingdom of God.
While this scenario takes place in a Muslim run country, the United States is different in that the proposed freedoms are different. People in the Untied States have an opportunity to choose whom they please to marry. Some may claim that it is this freedom that inhibits a process that will reduce the divorce rate for which in the United States is considered astronomical. In Malaysia the divorce rate is 8%. While in the United States the divorce rate is 50%.
In the United States several researchers contribute a high divorce rate to several factors. According to Stearns-Montgomery & Proctor, the top ten reasons for divorce are:
- Lack of communication
- Feeling constrained
- Expectations from each other
- Your spouse doesn’t understand / fulfill your needs and desires
- Quick change in lifestyle
- Religious and cultural differences
I believe that the basic problem with the divorce rate is that men do not walk in their God ordained purpose. We need only to look to the development of the lion to ascertain the original purpose, path, and position for men.
Like men, lions have a purpose, path, and position. Lions live in Sub-Saharan Africa in groups of 20 to 30 animals called a pride. From birth, they are born away from the pride and are normally blind which means that they have to be totally dependent on their mother. As they continue to grow they learn from their mothers to hunt and by the age of two they are able to hunt and kill for their own food. By the age of two lions become sexually mature and are driven off to form small partnerships with other females that form their own pride in which they become the dominating factor of the family.
While men may not follow the same process as the lion, they are placed on earth for purpose, with a path, and with a position. This is the major reason for divorce in the Kingdom of God.
The first man, Adam, was given his purpose when he was placed in the Garden of Eden. He was placed in the garden of Eden to dress it and keep it (Genesis 2:15). To dress it and keep it means that he was place there to serve God – The Father of Jesus Christ – and he was provided a stewardship over God’s Resources in his area of service.
And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it (Genesis 2:15 – KJV).
The next way to reduce the divorce rate is to teach men to follow God’s instructions. In Genesis 2:16 – 17, God gave Adam specific instructions regarding what he could and could not do.
And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die (Genesis 2:16 – 17).
The final way to reduce the divorce rate is to teach men to be team leaders. In Genesis 2:18, God made Adam a help meet. In essence, he mad Adam a team leader.
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him (Genesis 2:18).
Men can effectively reduce the divorce rate by following their purpose, path, and position.
Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell
PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012
Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.
Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell
Samaritan Baptist Church
Trenton, NJ “I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.
Dr. James E. Woods, II
El Shaddia Christian Assembly