A recent article discusses marriage preparation for future couples interested in tying the knot. The central theme for the article is the necessity of commitment on the part of both the future husband and wife. Both individuals need to understand that as time is accumulated in the marriage people to grow which can become the catalyst for an unhappy marriage leading to divorce.
According to the article, when love is in the air, couples do not take the time to ensure that they should become married to that individual. Instead of some type of pre-marital counseling the article recommends resolve the following issues:
- Separateness and togetherness
This is a difficult marriage preparation system for men due to the lack of fundamental experiences that teach them the role of men in the marriage. According to Dr. Phil, men who desire to be successful in their marriage and family life, they have to change and broaden their definition of what it means to be successful as a man. Being a good provider, protector, leader and teacher is a privilege that comes with responsibilities that many men aren’t aware of.
Most men believe that being a good provider means supporting a family financially. It means much more than that. A man should also contribute to the emotional, spiritual, physical and mental well-being of his family. In order to do this, he must recognize that there are other currencies, in addition to money, that need to be provided.
This means more than beating up the guy next door if he insults your wife. It means protecting her self-esteem and self-worth as well as your children’s. It can also mean protecting your way of life and guarding against any threats to the things that you and your family value.
Instead of waiting for your wife to take the initiative when you are having problems, take the lead. Get in the game and create what you want in your family instead of whining about your family situation. Marriage is not a 50/50 partnership. It’s a 100/100 partnership. That means you give 100 percent. And remember, you get what you give.
What are you teaching those around you — especially your children — with your behavior? It’s important to provide a good example for your children, loved ones and community with both words and deeds. Set high standards and teach by doing.
The best marriage preparation system for men is outlined in the Holy Bible. The first man in the bible who was married is Adam. So if men are going to follow the best marriage preparation system they must follow the same pattern that Adam followed before he was joined with his wife Eve.
Adam is the first man who was created on the sixth day by God – The Father of Jesus Christ. Adam was created (not born) a perfect man in body and spirit, but as innocent and completely inexperienced as a child. The man Adam was placed in a garden which the Lord God had planted “eastward in Eden,” for the purpose of dressing it and keeping it.
Dressing and keeping the Garden of Eden was Adams original purpose which is the primary foundation of marriage preparation for men. The word ‘dress’ in the Hebrew is ‘abad, which means to work as a servant. The word ‘keep’ in the Hebrew is shamar, which means to protect. God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden to work as a servant in the garden and to protect the garden. Protecting the garden required that Adam become the steward of the garden. God granted Adam stewardship over the Garden of Eden.
The best marriage preparation for men is to become a servant to God and a good steward over the resources that He provides.
Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell
PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012
Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.
Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell
Samaritan Baptist Church
Trenton, NJ “I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.
Dr. James E. Woods, II
El Shaddia Christian Assembly