Couples continue to face many challenges which could include the 7 year itch. Marriage involves a man and woman loving each other and embracing a lifelong commitment for their entire lives. Couples can eliminate the effect of the 7 year itch by developing marital processes that ensure they remain focused on their love for God and each other.
According to the article, How to combat the proven 7-year-itch Relationship Roadblock, it is believed that the 7 year itch is causing many marriages to have challenges. “Widely studied by psychologists and love experts, the notion that marriages hit a rough spot around year seven has been supported and disputed. Some say the time when a marriage is more likely to fail is more like three or four years in. Others, such as a recent OnePoll study commissioned by Pure Romance and shared with Verily, in which a thousand Americans who had be married an average of twenty years and at lest five years old, found that year seven was the worst.”
The article emphasizes that couples protect their marriage from the 7 year itch by:
1. Enhancing Communication
2. Minimizing the impact of fighting
3. Learn to talk about the hard subjects
4. Seek counseling
The suggestions offered to avoid the seven year itch do not respond to the root causes that will contribute to the 7-year itch.
Enhancing communication to avoid the 7-year-itch requires several strategies. The first mistake is that before couples stop communicating, they stop touching each other. As a matter of fact, when couples become angry with each other the first thing that happens is that they stop touching. The husband and wife must make a concerted effort to ensue that when and if they become angry with each other that they will continue to touch each other physically. One way to accomplish this task is to utilized The Luveuphoria Formula and husbands can use the 10 Luveuphoria Challenge.
Ephesians 4:26 – 27 instructs individuals not to allow the sun go down on their anger. This is a primary mistake for many people which includes couples who desire to avoid the 7 year itch.
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil (Ephesians 4:26,27).
One way to avoid this challenge is to utilize a conflict reflection tool. Couples can use the conflict reflection tool as follows:
- After the couple has had their disagreement, they need to retreat to a quiet space.
- Take a blank piece of paper and draw a line down the middle of the paper.
- On the right side, write down what was said by each person during the disagreement.
- Then on the left side, write down what you were thinking when each statement was made.
- Next, you want to circle the turning point of the argument. This is the point where you had an opportunity to ensure that the conversation remained positive. This is called the inflection point.
- Once you have determined the inflection point of the argument develop a strategy to ensure that the next disagreement regarding this challenge does not become an argument.
Another process that couples can use to avoid the 7 year itch instead of just talking about hard subjects is to develop a shared vision and a strategic plan for their family. A shared vision is a mental vision of the marriage that the couple will agree on. It will provide the energy and focus needed for the husband and wife to begin the learning process for the development of their strategic plan.
Developing a strategic will provide couples an opportunity to discuss their goals and have discussions with the travesties associated with a dysfunctional organization such as a marriage that is enraged by the 7 year itch.
Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell
PO Box 4707
Cherry Hill, NJ 08012
Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land
-Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives)
– Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
– Husband Leadership Principles
“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.
Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell
Samaritan Baptist Church
“I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.
Dr. James E. Woods, II
El Shaddia Christian Assembly