Couples that have relationship challenges can offset the “for worst” by maintaining a romantic marriage. Without the romance, many couples are one disagreement away from considering divorce. Couples can avoid the atrocities associated with divorce by forming marriage traditions that promote a romantic marriage between the husband and wife. 

Romance is the expressive and pleasurable feeling resulting from an emotional attraction towards our spouse. Romance in a marriage implies an expression of one’s strong romantic love, or one’s deep and strong emotional desires to connect with their spouse  intimately or romantically.

Romance impacts the body in several different ways. First, dopamine is the brain’s pleasure chemical. It plays a role in gambling, drug use, and love. When we fall in love, dopamine is released, making couples feel elated and energetic about each other. According to Helen Fisher, PhD, biological specialist, “That someone takes on special meaning to you and you focus on this individual because the dopamine system has been activated. It is what triggers very goal-oriented behavior, where no one else matters but your spouse. 

Romance has additional benefits too. In addition to dopamine, the body releases oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone that reduces stress related responses and is an important ingredient for any romantic marriage. Couples who engage in non-sexual contact such as touching each other’s neck, shoulders, and hands, have more oxytocin in their saliva than couples who do not engage in this type of non-sexual contact. Women who receive frequent hugs from their husband displayed higher levels of oxytocin in their blood than women who receive few hugs. oxytocin reduces the challenges that people experience from everyday stressors, such as family turmoil or conflict at work.

Due to the release of dopamine and oxytocin, feelings of trust, reward, and pleasure surface. In turn, the release of both chemicals induces lower blood pressure. In one study, researchers found people’s blood pressure was lower when they were with a romantic partner than when they were interacting with anyone else. Scientists also suggest the human blood pressure lowers in these situations because romantic partners feel familiar and comfortable with each other.

Spouses can maintain a romantic marriage through non-sexual contact. Consistent non-sexual contact will consistently produce dopamine and oxytocin in the brain of your spouse. 

What types of non-sexual contact will help to maintain a romantic marriage?

The types of non-sexual contact that will help to maintain a romantic marriage include:

  1. Hugs
  2. Back Rubs
  3. Holding hands
  4. Walks (not speed walking)
  5. Foot massage
  6. Body massage
  7. Gentle touch to the face
  8. Arm around body (Waist/Shoulder)
  9. Hand on thigh or knee (Remember Non-sexual)
  10. Hand on thigh or knee (Remember Non-sexual)
  11. Dancing together
  12. Napping in the same bed (or one sofa, close together on the floor, etc)
  13. Caressing/stroking the body, over clothing or under clothes/without clothes on
  14. Nuzzling
  15. Scratching (Including those hard to reach places)
  16. Biting
  17. Playing with hair
  18. Kissing the mouth (close-mouthed, no tongue)
  19. Kissing the mouth (open-mouthed, with or without tongue)
  20. Gentle touch on the shoulder
  21. Sitting close enough that bodies touch
  22. Arm around waist
  23. Playful (Wanted) tickling
  24. Cuddling, with clothes on
  25. Cuddling, with clothes off (typically, with underwear still on)
  26. Kissing the body (excluding the genital region and breasts)

The knowledge of non-sexual contact is just the beginning. Maintaining a romantic marriage require planning the non-sexual contact encounters. It is important to remember a positive relationship includes the ratio of positive interactions to negative which is five to one. To sustain a romantic marriage the number of non-sexual contact must be at least ten per day.

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In Christ,

Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell
PO Box 4707
Cherry Hill, NJ 08012
(856) 566-3267
www.advancedmarriagetraining.com

Published Books

  • Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land
  • Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives)
  • Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
  • Husband Leadership Principles

“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.

 

Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell

Samaritan Baptist Church

Trenton, NJ

“I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.

 

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El Shaddia Christian Assembly

Philadelphia, PA

 

How can couples maintain a romantic Marriage?
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