In a recent article, an author provides a recent divorcee divorce advice. The advice provided centers around the next steps that the divorcee can take to recover. The author has made a tremendous mistake in not providing the details of the only reasons that a person can get a divorce.
The recent divorcee provides the following scenario: My husband of 17 years decided to leave the kids and I for a woman he met during the marriage and moved to another state. It was a complete shock as he was away on a trip and when I called said he was not coming home.
He immediately moved in with her and abandoned the kids and me. After about a year and a half later the divorce is final, but I am still left confused and angry. He is now living his dream life, lots of free time, money, no responsibilities and a person who loves him. Meanwhile I am left as a single mom alone and struggling every day.
I am unable to date because I am left with a deep mistrust of men. I want to go out and get the life I want, but I don’t have any idea what that is. I had the life I wanted, and it has been stolen from me. I want to be a happy person for the kids’ sake as it is not good for them to see me depressed and sad all the time.
The holidays are especially hard and to be honest I would rather not celebrate at all, just lock the door and stay in bed. Seeing other people and their perfect lives is so difficult, it is hard to fake it all the time that you are ok. I feel lost and hopeless.
The author provided divorce advice in the areas of how to respond to the holidays, the divorcee, and the husband without ascertaining the cause.
I recently ran across a bible verse that may have provided the husband with the fuel to move away from home. According to Proverbs 25:24, “It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.” In the Hebrew, the word dwell is yashab. This word means to sit down, to dwell, to remain, to settle, or to marry. The word brawling in the Hebrew is madown. This word means to contest or quarrel. The word wide in the Hebrew is cheber. This word means society. Proverbs 25:24, does not provide divorce advice, but it provides the possible prelude to divorce which is communication problems. It may serve her well to evaluate when the couple had the communication breakdown.
The final divorce advice that should be provided is a future husband. While we live in a society that believes that it is ok to remarry, there are only two concrete biblical reasons for divorce. The first reason is adultery. According to Infidelity.com, 57% of American men and 54% of American women admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they have been in. The same site reports that 53% of American marriages end in divorce and that 74% of men and 68% of women says they would have an affair if they knew they would never be caught. Even though these statistics are depressing, the best divorce advice is not to commit adultery.
In the Old Testament, God declared adultery to be a sin that deserved death. According to Exodus 20:14,“You shall not commit adultery”. The penalty for adultery is found in Leviticus 20:10 and Deuteronomy 22:22. “If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death” (Leviticus 20:10; cf. Deuteronomy 22:22).
The final reason that a person can remarry is if the spouse dies. The best divorce advice that should be provided is not to become an adulterer or adulteress.
Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012 (856) 566-3267 www.advancedmarriagetraining.com
Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
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