After the stinging pain of divorce, many people try the dating game to seek companionship. The divorcee must wrestle with different strategies that will ensure a different outcome. Men and women must take on a different mindset based on the Original Design of Marriage as they negotiate through the dating process. 

The recommendations offered by other proposed experts will create failure for the dating divorcee. For example, it is suggested that dating after divorce should include:

1) Talking Your Time

2) Overcoming Online Dating Challenges

3) Seeking a Different Type of Mate

4) Not Looking for a Quick Fix

5) Keeping the Relationship Casual

The inevitable is that dating after divorce has an end on mind. That end is to remarry. Since we are creatures of habit, the divorcee is apt to replicate or accept the same behaviors that lead to divorced in the first place. We know this to be true due to accelerating divorce rate. For example, a person who is married for the first time has a 50% chance of getting divorced. A person who has been married a second time has a 67% chance of getting divorced. A person who has been married a third time has a 75% chance of getting divorced.

The more a person gets married, the greater chance that that person will get divorced. People who get divorce do not get it right the first, second, and, third time. By the third time they are done. After the first divorce, the perspective person must replicate the tenets it the Original Design of Marriage or expect the same results of their first marriage.

What is the Original Design of Marriage?

The first example of a marriage was between Adam and Eve which is found in Genesis 2:15 – 2:17. God provided Adam with certain leadership principles outlined in Genesis 2:15. God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden “… to dress it and to keep it” (Genesis 2:15). The word ‘dress’ in the Hebrew is ‘abad, which means to work as a servant. The word ‘keep’ in the Hebrew is shamar, which means to protect. God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden to work as a servant in the garden and to protect the garden. Protecting the garden required that Adam become the steward of the garden. God granted Adam stewardship over the Garden of Eden.

Stewardship requires a relationship between the master and the one that the master entrusts with the resources. In this case, God is the master and He entrusted the Garden of Eden to Adam.

Secondly, God provided Adam with the path that he was to follow (Genesis 2:16 – 17). God instructed Adam on what he could and could not do. At that point and time, Adam maintained his relationship with God by obeying his commands.

Finally, God decided to provide Adam with a helper. Genesis 2:18 records …”The Lord God said , It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet”. That word ‘meet’ in the Hebrew is ‘ezer. Ezer means to help. These are the tenants that persons must consider before they start dating after divorce. 

If you are a male, consider the following checklist:

  1. Are you serving in your God ordained purpose?
  2. Are you a good steward over the resources that God has provided?
  3. What are you social, interdependent, and cooperative goals for your marriage?
  4. What talents and gifts does a wife need to help you with your god ordained purpose?
  5. What is your marriage vision?
  6. What is your family strategic plan?

 

If you are a female, consider the following checklist:

  1. Is he a servant?
  2. Is he a good steward?
  3. What are you social, interdependent, and cooperative goals for your marriage?
  4. What skills and talents do you have to help him with his God ordained purpose?
  5. What is your marriage vision?
  6. What is your family strategic plan?

Individuals who decide to contemplate the above mentioned before dating after divorce can expect to become successfully married. 

Related Articles

4 Reasons Dating After Divorce Is Easier For Men Than Women (& What You Can Learn From Them)

Dating After Divorce Doesn’t Have To Be Difficult

Handy tips for dating after a divorce

In Christ,

Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell
PO Box 4707
Cherry Hill, NJ 08012
(856) 566-3267
www.advancedmarriagetraining.com

#Luveuphoria

Published Books

 

  • Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land
  • Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives)
  • Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
  • Husband Leadership Principles

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Samaritan Baptist Church

Trenton, NJ


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El Shaddia Christian Assembly

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How to start dating after divorce?

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